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PART 3: UNBREAKYOURHEART FOR GOOD #6 WHAT IF?
#6 What if a bit more Emotional Baggage comes up in future?
When we face a new challenge or live through an intensely emotional experience (positive or negative), it can sometimes bring some more Emotional Baggage bubbling to the surface. Falling in love, moving in together, breaking up, getting married, getting divorced, moving house, moving back home, losing a baby, having a baby, being made redundant, starting a new job, changing career, having an accident, being ill, losing a parent, financial problems, winning the lottery… these are just some of the situations that have churned up the waters for clients I’ve worked with, making them aware of Emotional Baggage that their unconscious mind had kept locked away in secure storage for years.
Occasionally the opposite happens… we’re going through a fairly settled, uneventful time in our life when, out of the blue, we start to ‘have a wobble’. For example, we suddenly feel really low, out of sorts, wound up or unable to concentrate… or else we have a crisis of confidence, doubts about our life direction or start questioning our relationship for no apparent reason. When this happens, it’s usually because something has reminded us of the past and connected us with a network of old emotionally charged memories… so our unconscious mind taps us on the shoulder and says,
“Now, about this old stuff… isn’t time we had another clear out?”
Although many years have passed since I started out on my own Emotional Baggage Clearing Process, this still happens to me from time to time. Usually it’s obvious what I need to clear out, so I can just add it to my personal DASHBOARD and let it go in no time. But occasionally it’s more complicated, so I have to put aside some quality time to reflect on what’s happening… and if I get really stuck, I might even book an hour or two with my old therapist, who acts as a sounding board and helps me work out what’s going on.
Either way, once I unravel the painful emotion, unhelpful belief or dysfunctional relationship pattern that’s come to the surface, I can clear it out quickly and easily, thanks to the Emotional Baggage Clearing Process.
A small but VERY real example:
In the middle of writing this module, my back suddenly started hurting, making it difficult to concentrate. There was no apparent reason for this nagging pain and my usual yoga stretches weren’t making it feel any better. In fact, it was getting worse every day.
So I used my personal Relaxation Button to help me get nice and relaxed, then I asked my unconscious mind what was going on. I quickly realised that I was feeling ‘trapped’ after too many long days, stuck indoors working and my unconscious mind was letting me know, ‘enough is enough’… but in a pretty unhealthy way.
During the Emotional Baggage Clearing Process I cleared out a network of painful memories – of other times when I felt trapped. They seemed to go all the way back to a moment during my birth when I couldn’t ‘get out’. I don’t know whether this is a genuine memory or a metaphorical one, but it certainly makes sense that I might have experienced that painful emotion along with a physical pain while I was stuck in that situation. During the clearing process I also remembered that I feel most free – the opposite of ‘trapped’ – when I’m dancing. (For more about why, see Chapter 5 of my ebook).
So I promised my younger self that, whenever I felt fed up or tired or uncomfortable at my desk, I would stop working and have a little dance … and if I felt I’d been working too hard, I’d take myself out dancing to even up the balance.
Immediately the pain subsided and if I ever feel it coming back, I get to my feet, grab my headphones, put on some music and have a dance. And I’ve also got back into the habit of listening to live music on a regular basis… especially when I’m working a lot. The deal seems to have done the trick… and I hope by now the neighbours who live opposite have got used to my silent disco.
So if anything (big or small) comes up for YOU, and you suspect there may be some more Emotional Baggage you need to clear out, you can just:
- Get nice and relaxed (using your personal Relaxation Button)
- Ask your unconscious mind what’s going on and notice whatever comes to mind.
- When you’ve managed to put into words the painful emotion, unhelpful belief or dysfunctional relationship pattern that seems to be making you feel bad, click on one of these three links to add that item to your list.
- Then click NEXT at the end of that page to save your edits. This will take you back to your personal DASHBOARD, where you can click the START button next to that new item… and clear it out for good.
So that’s it for the Emotional Baggage Clearing Process. Its been a lot I’m sure, so give yourself a pat on the back and a big hug for getting to this point. You might even like to have a little celebratory dance!
And now it’s time to think about what happens next….