THE UNBREAKYOURHEART ONLINE PROGRAMME
Finding professional help
If you feel you may need specialist professional support to help you deal with any of the issues you’re facing while working through the unbreakyourheart process, this page contains some useful information and suggestions… including links to help you search for a qualified therapist, counsellor or psychologist and a few insights on how to go about choosing the right person for you.
If you need urgent help because you think your safety is at risk or you feel really desperate, the first section has some links and helplines that provide emergency help and crisis support. If you need help, ALWAYS reach out.
If you need urgent help…
If you think you might attempt suicide or you might have seriously harmed yourself or you feel your life is at risk for any reason, call the emergency number for your location (or get someone else to call for you) and ask for an ambulance or police support to keep yourself safe… or go straight to the emergency department of your local hospital or health-care provider.
If you can keep yourself safe but you need urgent advice because you’re feeling really desperate, there are some links and helplines below that provide 24/7 crisis support in the USA, the UK, Canada and Australia. (These links were correct at the time of creating this page)
Wherever you are, doing an internet search for ‘suicide and self-harm’ or ‘crisis support’ will guide you to sources of help that are usually available 24/7 and often give you the option to remain anonymous.
For crisis support in the USA:
- The 998 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, (https://988lifeline.org/) has a 24 hour toll-free crisis hotline: 1.800.273.TALK (1.800.273.8255). They will put you in touch with your local crisis center that can tell you where to seek immediate help in your area.
- If you’re not comfortable speaking on the phone, you can contact a crisis counsellor at Crisis Textline, from anywhere in the USA at any time, by texting HOME to 741-741. There are also links on their website https://www.crisistextline.org/ to contact them by WhatsApp or live chat.
- Contact the NAMI helpline by calling 800-950-6264 or text ‘Helpline’ to 602640
- And this site has links to a wide range of crisis hotlines: https://www.apa.org/topics/crisis-hotlines
For crisis support in the UK:
- Mind, the UK mental health charity has lots of links and advice on how to get help in a crisis: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/getting-help-in-a-crisis/
- The Samaritans offer a free 24-hour helpline in the UK, (call: 116 123) and there’s more information on their website: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/talk-us-phone/
- The National Suicide Helpline UK offers a supportive listening service to anyone in the UK with thoughts of suicide or self-harm. They are open 24/7. Call free: 0800 689 5652
For crisis support in Canada:
- If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, you can call or text the Suicide Crisis Helpline (call: 9-8-8) where support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There’s more information here: https://988.ca/
- This site has lots more information and links: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html#a1
For crisis support in Australia:
- Lifeline offers 24/7 confidential crisis support and suicide prevention (call: 13 11 14). More information here: https://www.lifeline.org.au/ where there are also links you can use to text or live chat.
- These two sites have links and information about self-harm: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-harm and support for people experiencing mental health issues: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-helplines
But of course, you don’t have to be at crisis point or fearing for your safety in order to seek professional help and support. In fact, it’s far better to get support with emotional issues and challenges you’re facing at a much earlier stage if you think you might need it… to prevent things building up.
On the rest of this page I’ve put together some information you might find useful if you’re thinking about getting some professional help and wondering where to start… or if you’ve already received some help but it hasn’t hit the spot and you’re asking yourself, “What next?”
REMEMBER, I’M SHARING THIS INFORMATION WITH YOU AS A USER OF UNBREAKYOURHEART, AN ONLINE SELF-DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME FOR WOMEN WHO HAVE A PAINFUL OR DISAPPOINTING TRACK RECORD IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS AND WANT TO BREAK AWAY FROM THEIR PAST, USING THE TOOLS AND INFORMATION THAT MAKE UP OUR PROGRAMME. THIS IS NOT INTENDED TO CONSTITUTE ADVICE.
In THIS context – for women who are working through the unbreakyourheart process and think they might benefit from some professional support to help them understand themselves and break with the past – I’m a big fan of ‘Talking Therapies’. And that’s what we’re going to be focusing on for the rest of this page.
Here’s a summary of the information I’ve put together for you. Click any link below to READ MORE.
What are Talking Therapies… and what are the alternatives?
In this section you’ll find some external links to give you an overview of the different types of talking therapy that are typically available, plus a few additional links to show you some alternatives…
How might a therapist help as you work through the unbreakyourheart process?
Here we explore some typical situations where you might be glad of some additional support as you work through the unbreakyourheart process, and how the right therapist could help you deal with them…
Do I like you? Can I trust you? Are we equal partners?
Research shows the quality of your working relationship with a therapist can make a significant impact on how well things go. So it’s really important to ask yourself these three questions when choosing a therapist.
A few personal experiences of therapy – and a list of my red flags
Here I share two personal examples of what really helped me as a therapy client… and one dramatic example that definitely didn’t work. I’ve also added a list of ‘red flags’ that I would always avoid
To pay or not to pay? Some factors to bear in mind
A few things you might like to bear in mind when thinking about the cost and availability of therapy
A step-by-step approach to finding the right therapist for you
A six-step process you could use to help you find a therapist and make sure they’re the right person for you… with some external links to help your search
Searching for a therapist? A word about online directories
Online directories offer a convenient way to search for therapists and check their credentials from the comfort of your home. But if you’re going to use them, you MUST keep your wits about you….
In conclusion
If you think you might benefit from some specialist input, I hope you’ve found this page useful as a way to get started or to refine your search… and that you find the right therapist to support YOU as you work through the unbreakyourheart process.
As with a romantic relationship, finding the right therapist, counsellor or psychologist is a process of trial-and-error. You have a first date and if it goes well for you both, you set up a second date and then start seeing each other regularly… and the level of trust and connection builds up over time, as you get to know each other.
Perhaps the biggest difference is that – sooner or later – the therapeutic process will come to an end, ideally because you feel significantly better and no longer need that support. In contrast, when you’re ready and you find the right romantic partner, the relationship can continue for the rest of your life!