If you’re not feeling totally relaxed about recalling your past or reflecting on yourself and your Emotional Baggage, that’s quite normal. Here’s some information that usually makes my clients feel a lot better:
- If you think you had an ordinary childhood where nothing particularly distressing or traumatic happened, it’s important to remember that even everyday stresses and upsets can leave their mark on a sensitive child who doesn’t have the right kind of support.
- Or if, like many women, you worry that you can’t remember much or anything about your early childhood, please be reassured that I’m going to provide you with lots of really helpful exercises and techniques throughout this programme, to help you recall what you need to remember in order to make sense of the past and let it go… in a calm and relaxed way.
- Because, however upsetting some of our childhood experiences may have felt at the time, we can process them in a calm, detached way when we analyse them from a distance, using our adult logic… as we will be doing in this programme.
- If you have a concern about ‘opening Pandora’s Box’ and recovering upsetting or suppressed memories, I can assure you that, most of the painful experiences that left their mark on us as children are things we already know about, though we may not realise how much they’re affecting us as adults. I have worked with many, many clients over more than twenty-five years, and only ONE of them has ever recalled an important and painful childhood experience they weren’t already consciously aware of: a violent fight between his parents when he was five years old that he had blocked out of his memory.
- And even if you do have some old, upsetting memories, locked away outside your conscious awareness, keeping them ‘out of sight and out of mind’ doesn’t mean they’re not affecting you. Quite the opposite… they’re likely to be having a negative impact on you and your relationships today, even if you don’t consciously remember them. For example, If you’ve ever flown into a rage, felt a massive pang of jealousy, burst into tears when you wanted to be tough or done the complete opposite of what you knew was right for you in a relationship, the root cause was almost certainly the painful experiences from your distant past that you haven’t yet resolved in your mind.
- The great news is that, when you bring painful memories to the surface and make sense of what happened, you can disconnect from them so they no longer affect you or mess up your relationships. Wouldn’t you rather let go of the past and move on, rather than keeping those old memories locked away and letting them stand in the way of your happiness?
- And believe me… you CAN let go of those damaging experiences from the past, with all of the associated painful emotions and unhelpful expectations that you started accumulating so long ago (i.e. your Emotional Baggage). In the rest of this programme I’ll be providing you with tools and resources to help YOU disconnect from the pain of the past and move on to a happy, loving relationship using the unbreakyourheart process.
- So remember… analysing your past is just an interim step on the way to fixing yourself and getting ready for love.